Dovewing Songfic
by Shimmercloud
Summary: A Dovewing songfic to the song Back to December by Taylor Swift! Enjoy!


**I'm so glad you made time to see me**

**How's life, tell me 'bout you family**

**I haven't seen them in a while**

Dovewing ducked her head as she made her way through the Gathering. The full moon shone above her as she dodged her way past her clanmates, desperate to get into the trees. A pair of amber eyes bored into her. _Tigerheart_.

**You've been good, busier than ever**

**We small talk, work and the weather**

Your guard is up and I know why

"Hello, Dovewing," he mewed awkwardly. Dovewing stared down at her paws.

"Hi, Tigerheart," she replied quietly. "How's the prey running?"

"Good thanks." Tigerheart flicked his tail anxiously. "The cold has everyone down though. But newleaf is coming, thank StarClan."

**Because the last time you saw me still burned in the back of your mind**

**You gave me roses and I left them there to die**

Dovewing's mind helplessly rushed back to the beautiful snowy days, where she and Tigerheart pranced around. All her anxieties and worries disappeared when she was with him. She hadn't felt like that since Lionblaze and Jayfeather told her that she was part of the Three. A purr almost rumbled in her throat as she reminisced about when Tigerheart had fallen into a huge snowdrift. _What __I __would __give __to __feel __like __that __again._ She shook her head sadly. _I __can__'__t __go __back_.

**So this is me swallowing my pride**

**Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night**

**And I go back to December all the time**

_I__'__m __sorry._ Dovewing swallowed the lump in her throat, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. _I__can__'__t,_she thought. _He__'__s__not__mine__anymore._

"_I didn't mean it like that," mewed Tigerheart. He suddenly looked so sad, and scared. "I just-" Dovewing didn't care. She didn't want to listen anymore._

"_I think you did," she whispered sadly. "I think that's exactly what you meant."_

**Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you**

**Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine**

**And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right**

**I go back to December all the time**

Dovewing pushed the last of the memories out of her head and turned back to Tigerheart "Bye," she whispered before walking away. She could feel the pain radiating off his dark tabby pelt, but she forced herself to ignore it as she joined her clanmates for the trip home.

**These days, I haven't been sleeping**

**Staying up playing back myself leaving**

**When your birthday passed and I didn't call**

_Dovepaw sat miserably in camp. Ivypaw was sleeping soundly in her nest. She hadn't been harmed by the ShadowClan cats, and they willingly gave her up in exchange for the catmint. "Sandstorm might die," murmured Dovewing. "It's all my fault. Why am I so stupid? I should've known that Tigerheart was just using me." Ivypaw started to kick and thrash and Dovepaw's head snapped up. What were they doing to her? Coughing and sputtering, her deep blue eyes opened and she sat up, a terrified look on her face._

"_Ivypaw?" Dovepaw rushed up to her sister's nest, her eyes wide with fear._

"_Oh, hi," she rasped. "How was the Gathering?" _

"_Can I ask you something?" Dovepaw whispered. "Tell me about Tigerheart again. Is he really training in the Dark Forest?"_

"_Yes," mewed Ivypaw sadly. "I'm sorry."_

"_Don't be," Dovepaw replied. "I don't think he ever loved me…"_

**Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times**

**I watched you laughing from the passenger side**

**And realized I loved you in the fall**

Memories of fighting beavers with Tigerheart flashed through Dovewing's dreams. He had been so brave…and always so good humored. She could just imagine him, jumping up from the water and launching himself at the dam. Dovewing had never seen any cat so fearless in her life.

"_Tigerheart, are you okay?" called Lionblaze._

"_No, I'm furious! I'd like to turn every one of those beavers into fresh-kill!" _

"_He's okay," Dovepaw murmured._

**And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind**

**You gave me all my love and all I gave you was…goodbye**

Dovewing turned her back and put her head down. _Tigerheart __isn__'__t __part __of __me __anymore._

**I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile**

**So good to me, so right**

**And how you held me in your arms that September night**

**The first time you ever saw me cry**

_Dovepaw started to flee the camp. It was all too much. Sandstorm and Cherrykit were sick, and who knew where Ivypaw was? She probably didn't want to see her anyway._

"_Tigerheart!" she called. The dark tabby turned around. His amber eyes shone as she ran towards him. _

"_Hi," he whispered as she buried her muzzle into his flank. "It's good to see you." Dovepaw didn't reply. She cherished the moment of peace, away from all her clanmates and problems. _

**Maybe this is wishful thinking**

Dovewing shut her eyes and tried to block out all the memories. _I__…__miss__…__you__…__so__…__much__…_

**Probably mindless dreaming**

_What was I thinking? He's a ShadowClan cat. We could never gave been together, whether he loved me or not._

**But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.**

**I'd go back in time and change it but I can't**

**So if the chain is on your door, I understand**

Dovewing collapsed in her nest, uncontrollable pain searing through her mind. _Tigerheart!_ She wanted to scream. _I__need__you!_ She felt the pain dulling as she drifted into sleep.

**So this is me swallowing my pride**

**Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night**

**And I go back to December, turn around and make all right**

**I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind**

The sun shone through the apprentice den as Dovewing stepped out into the clearing.

"Is everything okay, Dovewing?" asked Bumblestripe, running up to her. "You don't look very well." Dovewing cast her senses out to ShadowClan. Tigerheart was sharing tongues with his clanmates, but Dovewing could see he was sad. _Is__it__because__of__me?_ She turned back to Bumblestripe. "I'm fine," she mewed softly. "Don't worry about it." She turned around and ran into her forest. _Tigerheart__…_ Standing on the ShadowClan border, she could almost smell him. _If__only__…_ Dovewing turned back to the forest and slowly trudged back to camp.

**I go back to December all the time…**


End file.
